SkyMall Follies: DIY traction. Please no auto-erotic asphyxiation jokes

This is the second in my series of SkyMall Follies posts. A look at the best and worst from the mile high catalogue of fun, games and madness that is the SkyMall.

Last time it was WWII Chess set. This time we have the "NeckPro Traction Device" ($50.95). A picture is supposed to tell a thousand words. But in the case on the NeckPro its promotional picture tells just 16 words - "Don't try this at home unless under the supervision of a trained bondage and discipline professional".

Targeted at both the do it yourself uninsured health care fool and the I want to live and die like David Carradine manic, this product contains a head noose/cradle/support that is attached to a pulley like structure which in turn can be affixed to a door. Yes- I could use those exact same words to describe a hangman's noose. Because that is exactly what it is except without the eye-holes, trapdoor and a series of drummer boys tapping out a death march costs extra.

Sexual and capital punishment innuendoes aside, if you suffered from chronic neck or back pain, then surely the last thing you would want to do is self medicate while wearing khakis and loafers.

Welcome to the Folly Files NeckPro. May the actor who posed for the photo in this advert one day be able to hang his head in shame.

SkyMall Follies: "brightening the room" with WWII Chess

Plenty of reasons to hate domestic travel in the US - age of the aeroplanes, on board food (or lack of it), the "no way am I going to pay $25 to check this, it will fit in the overhead locker" attitude that has added 25 plus minutes to the boarding process etc. But I love reading SkyMall. This is the ubiquitous and free magazine that contains 200 plus pages of junk, crap, stuff, items for the discerning consumer.

I love this magazine because (much like Las Vegas, K-Tel and un-missable DVD collections of the Dean Martin Show) it shows that human beings can come up with just about anything to take money from you. In between this busy week of PhoCusWright posts and activities I am going to share with you three or four of my favourite SkyMall items. The ultimate in discerning items for the ultimate in discerning customers.

SkyMall Follies Item number 1 - WWII Chess Set and Storage Box $219.99.

Themed chess sets are nothing new. From Elvis to the Simpsons and everywhere in between companies have been reinventing the look of chess through replacing typical black vs white and rook and pawn with multi-colours and character pieces.

But now I have seen - through the magic of SkyMall - a remodelling of chess that not only breaks the rules of neutrality in the two sides of the chess game but carries a level of insensitivity that even a mindless kitsch product developer should have picked up.

In the spirit of "brightening the room" (their words) and "fun to play" (again their words) with the WWII Chess Set you can elect to either lead Franklin D Roosevelt (white king) and the American Military or Adolf Hitler (black king) and his German Troops. That's right for just $219.99 plus tax and delivery you can relive your fantasy of leading a "hand painted" and "detailed" 3.25 inch Adolf Hitler into strategic battles against the forces of freedom. Bargain. Staggering. Madness. A classic SkyMall folly. More to come